May 27

Darius: "My granmamma is 90 years old. I wish she would be a hooker, I'd beat her ass."
Mr. Sebacher: "Why would you want your grandmother to be a prostitute?"
Darius: "NO! I didn't say that. I said, I wish my grandmamma would be a hooker. Why you always make everything a grammar issue?"
Mr. Sebacher: "What?"
Darius: "No. You don't know what you're talking about."
[pause]
Mr. Sebacher: "OK. You're right."

May 27

Tonnee: [exasperated]: "I don't get it."
Mr. Sebacher: "How can I help you?"
Tonnee: "Naw, it's alright."

May 27

Adam: "I'm so bored I wanna punch a baby, on my life."
Deandre: "That's messed up."

Deandre: "Ringa, did you do Ms. T's work?"
Ringa: [gives a look.]
Deandre: "On my life! She's gonna have a BF."
Mr. Sebacher: "What's a 'BF'?"
Deandre: "A bitch fest."
Mr. Sebacher: "That's not very nice."
[everyone laughs.]
Ringa: "Awe, man. I love you guys. All my boys on the West Side. Teachers too! No homo. Y'all's some cool dudes."
Mr. Tobin: "Thanks."
Mr. Sebacher: "I know."
Deandre: "Except these females."
Alexis: "These bitch ass niggas be trippin, on my life."
Mr. Tobin: "This is a trip-free zone."
Ringa: "Me and Deandre are Batman and Robin, what y'all's?"
Alexis: "Shit, we Marquita and Alexis."
Ringa: "She's got issues, yo."
Mr. Tobin: "We all do."

May 20

Alexis: "Mr. Sebacher! Marquita hit me with a spoon."
Mr. Sebacher: "Where?"
Alexis: "By the door."
Mr. Sebacher: "No, where on your body?"
Alexis: "Right here on my arm."
Mr. Sebacher: "That's a spork, actually."
Alexis: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Mr. Sebacher: "I'm sorry she hit you. What do you want me to do about it?"
Alexis: "Take that fucker away from her."
Mr. Sebacher: "The spork?"
Alexis: "Yeah. She's just a tramp."
Mr. Sebacher: "That's not very nice. She's your best friend."
Alexis: "I know."

May 19

Deandre: "Me and Mr. Sebacher are rolldogs."
Mr. Sebacher: "What's a 'rolldog'?"
Deandre: "We roll together. We homeboys."

Mr. Sebacher: "But...we don't roll together."

Deandre: "Yeah, you right about that, Mr. Sebacher. But we homeboys, though."

Mr. Sebacher: "Okay."

May 19

[playing 20 Questions at the end of class]
Tedmund: "Is it a car?"
Mr. Sebacher: "No. Close, though."
Sam: "Is it a horse with wheels?"

May 13

[from an essay on Cleopatra]

"Caligula later executed Psolemy Caesarion, and Cleopatra's other sons simply diappear from history and are assumed to have died."

May 4

Deandre: "Man if I had a school, Joe, It'd be huge. It'd take up three city blocks. I have roaches in there."
Mr. Sebacher: "Roaches?"
Deandre: "And rats. So the kids could play with them. It'd be a grammer school inside a high school."
Mr. Sebacher: "Why do you think kids would enjoy playing with rats of all things?"
Deandre: "I don't know, Mr. Sebacher. Why you so nosey?"
Mr. Sebacher: "Just curious."
Karessa: "That shit is not normal."
Deandre: "No, I'm just playin'. If I saw roaches in my school I'd be pissed. I'd tell them to shut that school down, blow it up, make a big hole. Ants are okay, though. When I see ants I light them on fire."
Karessa: "That's fucked up."
Mr. Sebacher: "Yeah Deandre, that's pretty messed up."

May 4

Deandre: "I watch Dr. Phil."
Mr. Tobin: "Has your life changed?"
Deandre: "Hell no. He just cusses me out."

May 4

Robert: "Mr. Sebacher, you sound like the CTA [Chicago Transportation Authority] guy on the bus. 'This, is Pulaski. Doors open on the left at Pulaski.'"
Mr. Sebacher: "Very good, Robert."

May 4

[Studlisha is banging a bottle of frozen water against her desk.]
Deandre: "Get the fuck over here. Stop that now."
Mr. Sebacher: "Deandre, let's not swear. Lisha, quiet down."
Deandre: "I'm sorry, Mr. Sebacher. She's jus' makin' noise in my classroom. If this was my classroom, I'd be cussing them out. This is my class, why does everyone gotta keep on makin' noise?"
Mr. Sebacher: "I don't know, Deandre."

May 4

Tonnee: "I got that swine flu."
Kimberly: "You do?"
Tonnee: "No, I'm just playin'. I don't have swine flu."