June 5

These have been from the past few weeks:

Alexis: "Vicelord!"

Mr. Sebacher: [looking over his glasses] "Alexis..."

Alexis: "That's not gangbanging."

Clendell: "Everything's gangbanging to Mr. Sebacher."

Mr. Sebacher: "That's right."

Alexis: "Mr. Sebacher what gang are you in?"

Mr. Sebacher: "I'm not in a gang, obviously."

Alexis: "What's obvious about that? You could be in a gang and just keep it a secret."

Clendell: "I'll bet Mr. Sebacher leads a double life. Look at him. He's like Peter Parker."

Mr. Sebacher: "Let's all refocus our attention right now onto pronoun agreement."

Tonnee: "If you were in a gang would you be a Vicelord?"

Mr. Sebacher: "I wouldn't be in a gang in the first place. They are very dangerous."

Alexis: "Mr. Sebacher wouldn't be a Vicelord."

Mr. Sebacher: "Alright everyone."

Alexis: "He'd be a Nicelord."

[beat]

Mr. Sebacher: "That was very clever, Alexis."

***

Tierra: "Mr. Sebacher what's your girlfriend's name?"

Mr. Sebacher: "Let's not discuss my personal life right now."

Alexis: "Why not? Why are you turning red?"

Mr. Sebacher: "Because I blush easily."

Deandre: "I wish black people could blush. I'd be blushin' all the time."

Mr. Sebacher: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Tierra: [impersonating a white person] "Sharon."

Alexis: [same] "Jill."

Mr. Sebacher: [Erupts into laughter.]

Tierra: [same] "Katie."

Alexis: "Janice."

Tierra: "Martha."

Mr. Sebacher: [Can't control himself.]

Alexis: "Becky."

Tierra: "Darlene."

Mr. Sebacher: [Tears streaming down his face] "Stop! Stop! We have to get to work."

Clendell: "Get a hold of yourself Mr. Sebacher."

Deandre: "He's really red now."

***

Tierra: "What's your OG's name?"

Mr. Sebacher: "Denise."

Tierra: "That's my auntie's name. I don't like her, though. You cool with your OG?"

Mr. Sebacher: "She's a saint."

Adam: "She is?"

[beat]

Mr. Sebacher: "Yes. My mother is an actual saint."

Adam: "That's impressive."

***

[Doing grammar work out of their workbooks. One of the sentences said something about senators voting on something.]

Marquita: "Mr. Sebacher! Did I do this correctly?"

Mr. Sebacher: "Yes. Good job."

Marquita: [Goes absolutely nuts, out of nowhere:] "I fucking hate senators! Wasting all our money! They only care about themselves!"

Mr. Sebacher: "Marquita, that has little-to-nothing to do with the assignment."

Marquita: "SPENDING ALL OUR MONEY ON THEIR KIDS!!!"

Mr. Sebacher: "Marquita, calm down. That doesn't make any sense."

***

[For some reason.]

Tierra: [to me] "...SHITHEAD."

Mr. Sebacher: [laughing] "Did you just call me a shithead?"

Tierra: "Yeah. I'm sorry."

Mr. Sebacher: "I forgive you, but why?"

Tierra: "I don't know. I take it back."